Stick your head in this

Today was a fun day as I went for the MRI of my brain. I seriously think I was the only person there magnetic images of their brain - or maybe i was just being paranoid (ME!??) but i felt like i was being treated a little differently then everyone else.

Firstly, the waiting room was packed so i stayed outside and talked to my friends on my cell phone. One nurse was really militant about it, saying me standing out there violated six different kinds of fire codes. she asked me who i was and what i was waiting for, and when i told her I was getting my head examined she was like, "Oh...well..that's different..if you're more comfortable out here than that's fine..." Um...the fuck??

during the half hour I had to wait, at least three different workers came up to me to tell me everything would be OK, don't be nervous, it's not that scary. Again..the fuck?? I wasn't scared, I was cracking jokes on the phone about attaching a tap to my head to drain the lemonade and serve refreshing beverages.

The actual MRI itself was not a big deal. They strapped my head down and put a sort of hockey goalie mask thing over my face so I wouldn't move. It was an open MRI which was a relief, because I get claustrophobic and a closed MRI would have been a living nightmare for me. Still, I asked for a sedative and was told this place doesn't administer them, and what do i need a sedative for its not a closed MRI? Before the test started the technician tested the cameras and spoke to me, telling me how long the procedure would be. "I STILL WANT A SEDATIVE!!!" I told him, "WE all do," he answered. It was a series of four or five different exams each one about five minutes - the last one was the longest it was seven minutes. I didn't think I was able to stay still for the full half hour but i managed it. In between scans the technician joked around with me and i would give him the thumbs up sign or thumbs down, then thinking he didn't see me i did the metal horns and he said "Rock on!". Yeah...only me, right? The exam room had on the local smooth R & B station, I was treated to Whitney Huston, The Jacksons, And Stevie Wonder singing "I just called to say I love you." I never want to hear that song again. It might actually be one of the top four worst songs ever written.

When the exam was over, the technician said, "Don't get up to quickly or you'll get dizzy," Sure. I bolted up like they were giving away money. Eight hours later and i'm still dizzy.

My primary doctor will get the results and if it's a life or death thing I'm sure i'll hear about it. The best part is he's on vacation becaues...well..doctors do like to go away one of their patients is very ill so I won't know the results of the exam until after new years.

So that's the latest in this series. Tune in again next time for another installment of "Boy your head is pretty damn big,"